Just Go To The Party

Mindfulness techniques involve focusing on the present moment. Just try it!

A client came into my office one day, and like many other days, informed me about an event he was anxious about attending. This client had a very social and extroverted personality. However, he had anxiety about attending events due to concerns about how his wife would act. He would spend his sessions explaining all the things that could go wrong. He had a script in his head of the things his wife might say and how others would react. He thought he knew exactly how things would play out each and every time. He even spent a lot of time trying to come up with reasons to avoid the event. He also knew that each time he went to a social event, he had a great time, and his fears never materialized. He found that even when something did happen, it was not as bad as he anticipated. 

During one session after he expressed fears about an upcoming gathering, I said to him, “just go to the party.” I explained that instead of focusing on all that could go wrong, he could just go to the party and see what happened. We knew that once he was there all the anxieties would go away. We also knew that if there was a situation that made him anxious, he had the tools in his bag of tricks to manage it. 

The thought of just going to the party forced my client to be in the present moment. Being in the present moment, or the “here and now,” means that we are aware and mindful of what is happening at this very moment. We are not distracted by ruminations of the past or worries about the future. This mindfulness technique helps us to focus all our attention on the present moment and just go to the party.